


Where I'm From

by FrozenHearts



Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Justice League (2017), Man of Steel (2013), Wonder Woman (2017)
Genre: Alfred and Lois are BFF's, Attempt at Humor, BAMF Alfred, Barry can eat so much, Barry is a Precious Cinnamon Roll, Brief mention of slavery, Bruce basically adopted Barry, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Friendship, Gen, I do not condone it at all, I used that line from the Wonder Woman trailer, Like how is he so small he really goes for it, Pizza, Psuedo-Therapy Session, Victor can shoot lasers from his eye, Working Out Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 08:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7566790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrozenHearts/pseuds/FrozenHearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Justice League has some things to work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where I'm From

**Author's Note:**

> This kind of came about after I watched the Justice League trailer and Barry was just too precious for word, and Diana was just fabulous as usual and Aquaman and Cyborg just looked absolutely amazing, I can tell I'm in too deep for this movie and it's only been the trailer! Yeesh!

Alfred Pennyworth did not sign up for this shit.

Sure, he met Lois Lane and the two became fast friends. Sure, he has access to high-grade military technology and will admit that he may have used it from time to time to make himself a cappuchino with extra foam and a double shot of vanilla. Sure, he may be the only person to know the Batman's true identity.

But he did not sign up for this little support group Bruce was shoving into his lap.

Not that it was a bad thing, mind you. Alfred thought it was great that Bruce was actually going out and making new friends. He was just a tad worried considering said friends consisted of an actual goddess, an alien in blue tights, a cyborg, a god of the sea (he had caught the guy making small talk to the fish in the aquarium on more than one occasion), and a teenager hopped up on the effects of a lightning bolt and caffeine to finish early morning college papers.

The last one he was most worried about, but here they were, all sitting around the kitchen table of Wayne Manor. Lois, bless the dear woman, had helped in any way she could (neither were entirely sure how much Barry could eat in one go, so they were continuously going in and out of the kitchen until Lois got a call from The Daily Planet and had to dash off to write a report), and now Alfred found himself sitting next to Victor (his glowing red eye was sure to haunt him some) and Arthur (Alfred made sure not to filet the flounder he had in the icebox should the thing have been his friend) and sitting across from Diana.

"This is awesome, dude!" Barry chirped from his seat next to Diana, "I mean, you must have, like, a _thousand_ pizzas and they came in a minute flat! I can't even get one pie to my house in an hour."

Victor scoffed, the mechanisms that built his neck whirring slightly, "You realize that you can get it yourself in mere seconds, right?"

Alfred spoke before Barry could retaliate, "Well, as Mr. Allen most likely needs more food than the rest of you, I made accurate acquisitions of his preferred toppings and foods."

Barry pumped his fist, jabbing a finger at Alfred as he shoved his tenth slice of pizza between his teeth, "Bruce, man! I love this guy, where'd he come from?"

Bruce smirked at Alfred before grunting, "England. What about you?"

Barry shrugged, "Central City. Not really as cool as Gotham." Alfred raised an eyebrow. Gotham was cool? Gotham was riddled with crime and disease. The people were like fleas; scratching away at the cement to get to the goods running below the sewers. Barry slurped up a long string of cheese before jutting his chin at Victor, "Where are you from, man?"

Victor raised what Alfred could only assume was his eyebrow at Barry, "Central City. I've seen you around."

"Like, before you became the Iron Giant?" Barry asked tentatively.

"What is the Iron Giant?" Diana asked, "Have you defeated such a thing?"

Barry scoffed, "What? No, it's a movie."

Diana nodded, "Right." She shook her head, adding, "Even after ninety-eight years, there are still things I'm getting used to."

Victor nodded, "I told Barry I'd shoot him with my laser eye if he ever called me that again."

Diana laughed, "I'll have to watch it then."

Alfred nodded absentmindedly. The comment seemed innocent enough, but there was a challenge in her eye- what it was, Alfred wasn't sure. Diana could be a formidable opponent, as Alfred once learned when playing her at chess. For a rookie, she played like a pro and wiped the floor with him again and again until he simply would admit defeat before the start of the game.

"Wait, so are you, like, Bruce's butler?" Barry asked. Alfred sighed.

"In a manner of speaking."

"And what does being a butler entail?" Diana mused.

Alfred pushes the box of pizza towards Victor, who had been eyeing the food for a few minutes.

"Well, I do what Master Wayne tells me to when he tells me to," Alfred explained, "Quite simple, really."

Diana lookes perturbed, "And yet you call him your master? Quite barbaric for this day and age."

Bruce rolled his eyes, "I see Alfred as an equal, Diana. The whole 'Master' thing is just a formality. It isn't a big deal."

Diana raised an eyebrow, "Well, where I'm from, that's called slavery-"

Alfred chuckled. Diana sure had some strong opinions on how things worked. Arthur finally joined the conversation by asking bluntly, "And where are you from? If slavery still exists there?"

"Themyscira," Diana held her chin proudly, "we don't condone anything of the sort there. Does it exist still where you're from?"

Arthur looked taken aback, "In the oceans? May Neptune and Poseidon rain Hell down on those who dare claim ownership of another."

Barry balked as Bruce asked, "Wait, you live in the _ocean_? How come you never told me?"

Arthur grinned, "Didn't see how it was necessary.  Besides- it never came up, so I didn't see a reason to say anything."

Barry whooped, showing off the half chewed cheese and pepperoni in his mouth, "This team just keeps getting cooler! Hey- would you guys be able to help me with my history papers?"

Alfred chuckled, raising a hand to silence the din, "I can assure you, Mr. Wayne is considerate of all my needs and treats me better than most butlers in the business."

"Damn right, I do," Bruce winked as he reached for a slice of pizza.

 Alfred rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long night.


End file.
